"Phenomenology of religion concerns the experiential aspect of religion, describing religious phenomena in terms consistent with the orientation of the worshippers. It views religion as being made up of different components, and studies these components across religious traditions so that an understanding of them can be gained." Wikipedia, "Phenomenology of Religion"
This song is about a life lived, and searching for acknowledgement of that life. Things have gotten desperate but not hopeless. I imagine Jesus singing this song on his last day.
Today I participated in my local church's Stations of the Cross, which takes two hours and is a full passion play though the streets. There were estimated about 2,000 people taking this walk, this pilgrimage, in the streets of Chicago. The police were blocking the streets and I could not help but think this walk had to be similar to the one Jesus took, with onlookers and questionable law enforcement everywhere. What was going through Jesus's mind during that walk?
When there's nowhere else to run Is there room for one more son
I want to shine on in the hearts of men I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
I am so much older than I can take
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
Yeah, you know you got to help me out Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner
While everyone's lost, the battle is won With all these things that I've done
Listen to the song, and think of the Stations of the Cross. Think of Jesus's journey, not just today but through his life - coming to this moment, his death. Jesus made his sacrifices for us, for the unimaginable love of God for us. What do we make sacrifices for? What do we think about on the road to those sacrifices?
I chose to put here the cover from Postmodern Jukebox because for one thing, it's great. For another, I know a few people who would never willingly listen to Radiohead. This one seems a little more dignified for the occasion, right? If however, you much prefer the uncensored original, here is a great lyric video. If you don't think what I chose is dignified enough, click here, though it is also uncensored. [This song has been covered lots of times, including Karen Souza, (real jazzy) Macy Gray, (real Macy Gray-ish) Jinkx Monsoon, (fascinating and uncomfortable) Diego Luna, (for a kids' movie!) Amanda Palmer, (worth it for the ukulele) Clint Mansell & Coco Sumner, (smooth and pretty) and Prince. (Yes, Prince! live at Coachella) So, pick your favorite musical style to listen to while you read. The song also has its own Wikipedia page.]
"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before you. If you were of the world, the world would love what is its own. Because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I have spoken to you: No servant is greater than his master. If they have persecuted me, they will persecute you also." (John 15:18-20)
This is the reading for the third Station of the Cross, Jesus falls the first time, in the Barton-Cotton Stations of the Cross: A Scriptural Version. We are using this version at our church for Stations at noon today. I was still debating if "Creep" would be my Good Friday song this year until I was practicing with the students who are going to do the readings for the Stations yesterday and we got to this one. These verses from John connect so perfectly, I had a lovely "everything clicks" moment.
This song is about feeling alienated. Thom Yorke said he wrote it about a man who follows a woman around all night and never gets the courage to talk to her. Obviously, "Creep" has meant so much more to so many people or it would not have so many iterations. We have all had times when we have felt less than, put upon, oppressed, ashamed, outside. Some of us live with those feelings all the time due to gender, skin color, documentation, disability, age, acne, illness, poverty, hand-me-downs, expectations, mental illness, unpopular interests, and on and on. There does not seem to be an end to the list of things that can make us feel alienated, or the justifications people give to do the alienating.
Jesus chose to come incarnate to this world as one of God's chosen people. It is essential to understanding the story of Jesus to recognize his status as an oppressed, occupied person. While the Roman empire could sometimes be just fine for an imperialistic, militarized state, they held their power with veracity. Jesus carried not a cross but a crossbeam through the streets of Jerusalem because the pole was already there. It was always there, waiting for the next "criminal" to be sentenced to crucifixion by the governor. Pontius Pilate was particularly liberal with cruel death sentences; his reluctance to send Jesus to Golgotha had more to do with the Roman empire ordering him to stop killing so many people.
Jesus chose not only to live as a politically powerless person, but to push the buttons of every group trying to comply and trying to revolt. He didn't fall into any of those categories, the Jewish leadership trying to protect their people or the Zealots ready to stage the revolution. He was ready to condemn the methods of any organization that devalued the individual. He constantly chose to look with compassion into the faces of the lepers, widows, prostitutes, and tax collectors he met. This made him dangerous and unpredictable. Many people tried and failed to discover his angle, so they killed him. He chose to die as an alienated person. (Jesus Christ Superstar does a great job of portraying this; "We are occupied, have you forgotten how put down we are?")
It's hard to explain the concept of solidarity, but maybe it looks like this:
Or this:
The USCCB describes solidarity as: "We are one human family whatever our national, racial, ethnic, economic, and ideological differences. We are our brothers and sisters keepers, wherever they may be. Loving our neighbor has global dimensions in a shrinking world. At the core of the virtue of solidarity is the pursuit of justice and peace. Pope Paul VI taught that if you want peace, work for justice. The Gospel calls us to be peacemakers. Our love for all our sisters and brothers demands that we promote peace in a world surrounded by violence and conflict."
Jesus was surrounded by violence and conflict, much like we are today. You need only think of today and the image above to know what he decided to do; die to rise and save us all. Are we fasting today because it is a rule? Or are we fasting in solidarity with our hungry sisters and brothers in the world? Are we solemn today because of the death of our Savior? Or do we also mourn the countless senseless deaths both on our news and the ones that never make the story? When we hear the following lines of "Creep," do we recognize that in ourselves? What does that make you do: focus on yourself or see that we all share the same pain?
I wish I was special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.
"Am I the Only One (Who's Ever Felt this Way)" by the Dixie Chicks
Oh yes, the Dixie Chicks. This is from their first album, and "Wide Open Spaces" notwithstanding it is probably the best of the collection. Some of those songs don't hold up sixteen years later. However, this one I still rock out to; it has a permanent place on my "Angry Apple Cider" playlist.
When I listen to this song I feel anger, desperation, loneliness, sadness - the emotions of Good Friday. I will grant you this song is definitely about lost romantic love, but no matter what the reasons for our heartbreak haven't we all looked in the mirror and said, "one more smile's all I can fake?" If you draw a line from Gethsemane to Golgotha, Jesus holds all those emotions inside as each step he takes leads to destruction.
Going back to the parish mission, Johnson's words about Good Friday were to help us recognize our own Good Fridays and to see why we would call them "Good." The reason why songs about heartbreak are so loved is because it's an emotion everyone has experienced. People have let us down, have lied, have done physical or emotional violence to us. Loved ones have died. We've received news of the worst kind. We've sat on the floor of our kitchen crying at 2 a.m. because that's the only logical option... maybe that last one's just me, but I doubt it.
Jesus had plenty of these moments; sweating blood in the garden, falling the first, second and third times, killed by people he would have loved had he been given the chance. We all isolate ourselves in our misery. While Jesus trusted God he still felt alone, abandoned by his dearest friends. It's always when we feel most alone that we most need someone there, right?
Thank goodness for Jesus and country music, or that loneliness would never go away. Jesus has walked that terrifying, lonely, grasping path and walks all our terrifying, lonely, grasping paths with us. There is no good in suffering but when it draws us together. We can trust Jesus with our pain because he's been there. One of the great things about music is the communal aspect. We love certain songs because they express emotions we can't on our own - and that means that the composer felt those things. Everyone who buys that song on iTunes feels them, too. I won't lie to y'all, my Good Friday song is probably always going to be a country song. In the words of Xander Harris, "I'm going to listen to country music. The music of pain."
